I'm newly diagnosed with both essential tremor and PD. I'm also 39 and still seeking Mr. Right. The odds are already rough for a single, "healthy" gal my age. The hardest part in dating is when to tell someone? I tell dates up front about the ET but am stymied as when to tell a person about the PD as a relationship blossoms. I'm caught between scaring him off and feeling selfish/dishonest by waiting to tell. Anyone else experiencing this? It so sucks. Also, does anyone know of a support group for singles?

be back.....hun :)

It just means so much to not feel alone :-) If you want to share privately, let me know. Look forward to hearing your thoughts!

I believe in telling right away, just because I can't hide it & it beats the "what's wrong with you" questions.
I'd love to chat in depth, I'm struggling with finding Mr.Right too,but I'm not sure how much of it is me or is my PD, you know? :)

Anytime email me helga_beerator@hotmail.com

My heart goes out to you :-) I think one thing that living with a disease does is help us separate the wheat from the chaff in our personal lives. I truly believe that if someone loves you unconditionally, they will choose to be with you. We're all gonna go someday...even so-called perfectly healthy people, so shouldn't we focus on cherishing one another in general?

I opt to wait a while before I tell a potential partner; I think it's too intimate to tell right away.

My PWP told me about his PD before we were dating (we met through work). It came up as a response to my question about his off-again-on-again limp. I was expecting a sports- or work-related injury. Surprise! Turns out it was on-off periods of his meds. Anyway, when things turned romantic months later I was glad I already knew. I'm not sure what about having PD is "intimate" and obviously the choice of when to tell someone is yours, but I wanted you to have the perspective of the "datee". I do agree with what you said about a condition like this "separating the wheat from the chaff" - So my question is, why wait until one or both of you are starting to develop strong feelings only to then discover this new person can't or won't deal with such an important part of you? I mean, PD doesn't have to define you, but it sets-up certain challenges, particularly in the long-term. Maybe not on the very first date, but I'd reveal soon thereafter if it were me.

Again, just the perspective from the "other side", so-to-speak. No judgement implied or intended.

Have a nice weekend, folks!

By "intimate", I mean it's highly personal to reveal a medical condition or disease when you barely know a person; what if things end early on for a different reason? Then I'm sharing painful,deeply personal info with someone who may have the briefest of roles in my life.

Most don't reveal they may have congenital heart disease or that they may have melanoma to every one they befriend; I imagine because it's easier to hide. Why should Pwp feel compelled to reveal something so personal? I think fewer people understand PD, and I have read that revealing has jeopardized employment for some. Guess I just believe in a person getting to know "me" not the disease first. I agree we shouldn't let PD define us. Well, I'm still rather in disbelief myself and grappling with all the emotional stuff, so I'm rambling. :-)

Ah, I understand what you meant by "intimate" now. I guess that sitting down for your first cocktail and starting with "HI, I'm XXX and I have YOPD" is a bit like being at an AA meeting. ;) Good point. And if you've grown to like someone after a little while maybe hearing about PD wouldn't be so off-putting... It is complicated. Anyway, I wish you and the other singletons the best in finding love out there!

To be honest Brooksie, I have decided to confine my search for a significant other… to a female that has been diagnosed with early-onset PD. That way I would be in a relationship with someone understands what I am going through. Not only that, but I could better relate to her, and be there to support her, and likewise her support me. I know that this is a long-shot. After all, what are the odds? Then again, what are the odds of one being diagnosed with early-onset PD?

Who knows, I might get lucky.

RC

My fiance and I met at work. I knew from the beginning that he had PD. He's 13 years older than I, and had his diagnosis 10 years ago. He's doing well on his meds, but was extremely wary of getting involved due to the disease. He is very sensitive to the prospect of leaving me a young widow (not *too* young - lol - I'm forty).

With that in mind, I see one of the benefits of our age and health disparity that I will be better able to care for him at some point when it becomes necessary, though at this time it seems well off into the future. I'm not sure I would want to venture into something knowing that I, too, would need that kind of care, unless we had a family network that we would be able to fall back on. As it is, he is strong in my weak places, and vice versa.