From: CumbyCrawfish  (Original Message)

Sent: 10/14/2004 7:24 PM

The reciprocal relationship between the experience of family support and outcomes for the person experiencing traumatic events has been well researched and documented.  This means that when bad things happen to us, how well we do in the aftermath is affected by the quality of family support, and also that the quality of family support is affected by the nature of the traumatic event. As far as I know, there have been no long-term studies of this reciprocal relationship and pd.  At this site, those parkies who receive family support are vocal, as they should be.  However, I have the sense that many of us do not experience great support, that many marriages have ended due either directly or indirectly to the impact of pd on the marriage.  That is the case for me.  I have the sense that there is a sizable group of lonely, hurting parkies out there who have not been heard from [they may feel like failures in this regard] about  another way pd drstroys lives—by putting so much stress on individuals, both parkies and spouses, that it destroys relationships. Am I barking up a wrong tree? Can we talk about the impact this disease has had on our marriage relationships? Ron crawfishrc-parkinsons@yahoo.com

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From: june24dbs Sent: 10/15/2004 7:55 AM Yes, Ron, I would have to say that for years I let people and/or my family think that the reason why I was alone was because I chose to leave my husband because of x reasons.  In time I came to realize that it wasn't really my decision, I had no options ( I thought)  I was force to pick between living with PD, being a mother, a wife, a lover, a friend. Since PD was to be with me for the rest of my life, I picked being a mother.  I gave up on all other choices because I had no strenght  because PD made depressed, angry, moody . I felt so ugly, and the monster (PD)was there to remind me that there was no more life for me, no future,  I thought the it was insane for someone to love me so I took the first excused and pushed him out of my life.  How wrong I was,  if had a way then to see the future. I forgot about hope.  I encourage to stick to your love one whoever that may be and keep hoping that one day you'll walk up tall holding hands with the one  you love.  I someday will encounter my ex husband and ask him to forgive me for hurting him.  Although, he has already married and have a beautiful child, i believe is too late.   Elena

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From: judyherbert Sent: 10/15/2004 3:48 PM You know I have read all these messages on impact of PD on marriages.  It had a real heart renching impact on mine.  I keep saying I am going to write about it and share it with others.  But, right now it is still too painful.  I appreciate all the messages I have read that others have written though.   Judy Herbert

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From: CumbyCrawfish Sent: 10/19/2004 9:38 AM elena & Judy,   the hurt you both feel is the reason the parkie community needs to talk about this subject.  Many are blessed w good marriages to supportive spouses.  mmany are not.  i have had countless conversations w parkies who are carrying tremendous aloneness, grief, and sense of failure because of how pd has affected their marriages.  the yOPA community needs to provide information, caring, support, love and connections for those doubly harmed by pd.  thank you both for your courage in sharing your painful experiences.   Ron

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From: Judi_AcRoSsThEpOnD Sent: 10/20/2004 9:14 PM My husband and I have discussed this in depth. He has never waivered in his support for me. He told me he would love me even if I grew a second head. I joked that I just might do that!   Judi

Ron Crawford